A Paper I Wrote For Anthony

So Anthony starting thanking me for offering to write his paper today and, instead of just giggling and mock-punching him on the shoulder, squealing "Oh you!" I wrote a paper! Sadly, I don't think that Anthony will be turning it in. I guess I'll just have to show the internet all of the hard work I put into his paper!

To Mr. Professor, etc.:

I really enjoy writing papers, especially this one. How great is it that I am in your class? Pretty awesome, right? You know what is even MORE awesome? Dragons. That right, dragons. This class probably would have its awesome-factor increase by a product of super-coolness-percent by adding dragons. Or, a helicopter. Scratch that – a DRAGON-coptor. Instead of shooting missiles like a boring old helicopter, it would shoot fire breath. And it would have both wings that are super scaly in a MILLION different colors of black (black-as-night, black-as-death, black-as-a-terminally-ill-smoker’s-lung, black-as-etc.) and propellers, but the propellers would be made of different kinds of awesome tails.

You know, maybe tails could have made the class cooler than it already was. When I get a tail, it better not be one of those “decoration only” tails. No, mine will definitely be useful, a PREHENSILE tail like moneys have. That way I can grab a bottle of beer with my fire-engine red monkey tail while simultaneously using my hands to grab both a boobie and a tush (seriously spellcheck?! You recognize neither “boobie” or “tush”, and not even your own NAME???).

In conclusion, here is a list of things that are awesome (listed in ascending order of awesomeness): 1) being in this class, 2) being in this class if dragons were included, 3) being in this class if helicopters were included, 4) being in this class if dragon-copters were included, 5) being in this class if the dragon-copters had tail propellers.

In re-conclusion to the awesomeness of the paper I just TOTALLY wrote, I hereby also vow to someday have the most badass prehensile tail EVER – and I promise, Mr. Professor, ect., that I will give you one of those beers I was talking about earlier by using said tail, if you, Mr. Professor, ect., promise to give me an ‘A’ on this paper. I might even give you a crack at the boobie and tush mentioned if Mr. Spellcheck-Asshole will ever get with the program.

Thanks a million!

Your best, most awesomest student ever,

Anthony “Tail-Grabber” D********

P.S. This is TOTALLY a paper, and NOT a letter (regardless of what some of the ‘haters’ might say).

What do you think?

Awesome? I thought so.

Bicycle Cake Topper

I'm pretty sure that we are set on having bike cake toppers. Here are some things for inspiration!

This next one is only 3 dollars! I would probably want to do some DIY eyes on the bikes to make them all cutesy and in love.

Maybe something I could make something like this out of foam core...